just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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