My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
