his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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