I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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