bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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