yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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