k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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