I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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