Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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