My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
