heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
