just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He did a backflip because drugs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
