Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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