i just wanna soil my oats bro
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
