i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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