I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
