I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
