he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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