i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
