Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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