im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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