like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
