I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
