i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
