just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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