hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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