love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
