Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
