I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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