Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
