Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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