By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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