So drunk its hurt
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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