Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
