so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i dont even know how to be here
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize