just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
try to milk me bitch
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