you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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