margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
