im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm like, not good at living.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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