I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
