I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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