why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
