whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
