Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
