I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
All I want is dick and wine.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
