This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
