At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
