ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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