I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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