I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
