please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
