just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Terrible idea I love it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize