her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
