New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
