so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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