he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
