Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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