you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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