After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
