i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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