Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
