that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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