What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
