i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i think i just lost a toe
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
