oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
