the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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