halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
