The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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