just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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