Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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