She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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